My halfway point of radiation was yesterday! Yay! I cannot believe that I’m halfway done! I feel like I just started and was getting nervous for another unknown part of this journey.
Throughout this journey, it is so easy to wish time would fly by. When I was going through chemo, I couldn’t wait for those five months to be over. Here we are in June almost July and I cannot wait to be done radiation, Herceptin infusions and get my port out. When I think of that, that brings me to next year – 2017! Woah! I don’t want it to be next year yet. I don’t want to be almost thirty years old. I want time to slow down. We are already halfway through 2016. Where did the time go?!
It’s so easy to want this struggle to be a part of my past. I want to never think about this again, but I don’t want to wish the days, weeks and years away. I’ve been having a difficult time with the life after treatment and what that looks like. I find myself sad and when I look back on the battle I’ve won, I cannot help but smile. I am proud of myself. I fought the hardest battle of my life… And I’m winning. Fatigue, radiation burns or scars cannot get in my way. I will keep making lemonade with life’s lemons and man, do I love lemons! Never give up and never wish your days away. The future is beautiful and bright. I can either be sad all of the time or happy, I choose to wear a smile instead of a frown.
Today at radiation, a gentleman came up to me and said, “Wow. You are always smiling. How many rounds do you have left?” I smiled and told him I’m trying to stay positive and that I’m halfway done. Little did I know, this man was having radiation to his mouth and throat and he could barely talk. My heart felt sad for him. It seemed like he was having a tough day since he told me his mouth burned so badly. As I look at my skin turning a bit pink, it’s a reminder that this journey is so different for many people. The man then walked away without saying another word. I hope that he will be smiling when I see him tomorrow. This sucks, but it could always be worse. Keep smiling!