It’s been over two months since my last blog post. Can you believe that?! Two months! A lot has happened in two months and I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had the time to sit and write. Yes, crazy!
Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, we are bombarded with pink everything. Pink hats, shirts, pink ribbon – it’s everywhere! While I love the awareness, breast cancer isn’t glamorous. It sucks. I’m thankful for the treatment but the last few months were awful that it’s hard to see all of the pink and glam. Throwing up from chemo, losing my hair and getting burns from radiation is not pretty – just saying! Find the person behind the pink ribbon and put your money to causes that actually help patients.
I’ve been getting asked a lot about what I am doing now that I’m cancer-free and back to my “normal” life. I’m going to be honest and say I’m not back to my normal life and I still struggle every day with my feelings. I started a new job and it’s amazing. However, I’m struggling with weight gain from chemo and being in menopause. While I love not getting my period, I HATE that none of my clothes fit. I have no energy to work out after a long day of commuting and working. I’ll soon find a routine, but the survivorship stage is just as hard as treatment. It’s so hard to just forget what I’ve been through the last year. Let’s be honest – I just fought for my life at 27 years old. Before all of this happened, I was focused on my career, hopefully getting engaged soon, and just living my life traveling and having fun. When everything just stops, it’s hard to just start up again. I’m not okay – yet – and that’s okay. I don’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror and that’s just hard. I don’t see my long curly hair and skinny body. I see someone with short hair and a bit heavier, but I’m alive. I’m here today and that’s all that matters. Cancer may have taken a bit of me, but I’m a much stronger person than I was a year ago.
I was honored to be a part of Stupid Cancer’s podcast a few weeks ago. I was so happy to share my journey and how I’m looking forward to happy days ahead. (My segment starts at 9:50 – so I hope you listen!)
This survivorship stage is not easy. I am still getting Herceptin until January, but I have a lot of good things to look forward to. My Cancerversary is on October 22 and instead of being sad, I plan on celebrating.
I’m here, healthy and alive. What else can I be grateful for? Oh yes – hair!